A Return

Surprise!!! I'm still here!!!

January.....was a terrible month. Terrible. The Worst™. Condense all of 2020 into one month, and name that month January 2021, and you'll understand that ya girl has been Going Through It. 

But it's February! I'm working again (I, in fact, have two jobs, both of which I love and enjoy), the sun is appearing once every ten days instead of once every three weeks, and I've sort of clawed my way to some semblance of normalcy. (Sorta).

I have not written anything for my wips since December, and not for lack of trying. I can't tell if I'm burnt out, or bored, or simply suffering from writer's block. I just know that I try to write, and nothing happens except that I get increasingly frustrated and riddled with despair because I just...don't want to write these stories. But I still want to write. Truly, it's agonizing.

Back in December, I had decided to dedicate February to writing daily prompt fills with Hyba, since I had so much fun doing Fictober. But I was so low in January that I regretfully told Hyba I wouldn't be doing it. Disgruntled, I thought: this was what I got for having the temerity to plan anything, because the moment I plan is the moment all my plans blow up in my face. This has been the tradition of my life.

...Figures that seven days into February, I would be seized with the desire, energy, and motivation to actually take up that writing challenge.

Basically, I wanted to write, but I didn't want to work on any of my wips, and I couldn't come up with any ideas for new wips. To this, my brain very proudly went "AHA! DO A PROMPT!" As if I hadn't been wanting to do that since December.

So I took out my 'everything and the kitchen sink' journal (a notebook I use for...everything and anything), googled some prompts, chose the first one that caught my interest, and wrote. By hand. It was immensely satisfying, even though I'm feeling this simmering sort of resentment that 1) I couldn't make progress on my wips, 2) that I'm doing this seven days later than I had planned to, and 3) that I'm doing this after having gone through the mortifying ordeal of flaking out on my friend.

Am I gonna do this every day of February? No idea. I don't want to say I will or won't, because clearly that is just tempting fate to laugh directly into my face. I wrote. I updated my blog. I'm about to send out a newsletter. That is three things I've been wanting to do for weeks, and that's enough for me. 

It's the little things, babes.

Happy reading and writing!